I'm Still Here
I haven't written in a while for many reasons.
At first, it was because I was afraid to actually state that I am finished with all my treatments until I got the all clear from the doctor. But then, I got the all clear and yet I still didn't write.
Then it became, what I am supposed to do with myself now that this thing(cancer) that has consumed my life for the last 6 months is no longer doing that.
And now, it has become the busyness of life.
So let me start by saying that I am incredibly happy and thankful that I am through with treatments and that my body was clear of cancer. I will have another scan in August and yes it is a little daunting but I know that however it turns out, God is in control.
Now that I am beginning to feel better and life has really kicked into full gear with baseball, camp, end of school, spring, etc..., I find myself struggling with it all at times. For 6 months, I felt like my life basically stopped...everything that I normally did became second hand to kicking cancer's butt and leaning on God. My relationship with Him became stronger than it has ever been, therefore enhancing and making all of my other relationships stronger and healthier. Now, life is crazy...I am trying to figure everything out. How do we maintain the healthiness in our relationships amongst all the busyness. It's funny that the last post I wrote was "Be Still and Know that I am God" because that is what I hear God constantly telling me. During treatments it was easy to be still but now I am trying to figure out what "Be still" means amongst normal life. I don't feel that God is telling me to quit doing the things we love to do. I just have to learn how to be still and know that God is who He says He is. He is in control and all I have to do is keep my focus on Him. So when things are busy and life seems to be starting to spin out of control, stop and focus, He will put everything back into perspective.
So right now, I am just learning to live fully in His presence during the normal times.
At first, it was because I was afraid to actually state that I am finished with all my treatments until I got the all clear from the doctor. But then, I got the all clear and yet I still didn't write.
Then it became, what I am supposed to do with myself now that this thing(cancer) that has consumed my life for the last 6 months is no longer doing that.
And now, it has become the busyness of life.
So let me start by saying that I am incredibly happy and thankful that I am through with treatments and that my body was clear of cancer. I will have another scan in August and yes it is a little daunting but I know that however it turns out, God is in control.
Now that I am beginning to feel better and life has really kicked into full gear with baseball, camp, end of school, spring, etc..., I find myself struggling with it all at times. For 6 months, I felt like my life basically stopped...everything that I normally did became second hand to kicking cancer's butt and leaning on God. My relationship with Him became stronger than it has ever been, therefore enhancing and making all of my other relationships stronger and healthier. Now, life is crazy...I am trying to figure everything out. How do we maintain the healthiness in our relationships amongst all the busyness. It's funny that the last post I wrote was "Be Still and Know that I am God" because that is what I hear God constantly telling me. During treatments it was easy to be still but now I am trying to figure out what "Be still" means amongst normal life. I don't feel that God is telling me to quit doing the things we love to do. I just have to learn how to be still and know that God is who He says He is. He is in control and all I have to do is keep my focus on Him. So when things are busy and life seems to be starting to spin out of control, stop and focus, He will put everything back into perspective.
So right now, I am just learning to live fully in His presence during the normal times.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. Be still with God when you can and you'll keep figuring it out.
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